Next Thursday is my birthday. I’m a Libra. Libras are the beautiful and just people in the world, for those of you who do not know me. Please, don’t send presents. (If you must, please don’t spend over $50.) Or money. It will just get lost in the international two-step. Take yourself to dinner and then tell me all about it, that would make me happy! Here’s what I really want:

1. An end to the war in Iraq. Yes, just walk away. We inflict less damage by staying?

2. An end to the drug war. Don’t even get me started on this ridiculous endeavor. Let adults sell drugs to adults, let adults get addicted if they want. They are probably control freaks anyway and it’s their only hope of getting into a good 12-step program. Besides, it’s their choice.

The only crime that comes from a drug war was created because it’s illegal and therefore ridiculously expensive. If you can buy cocaine for $2/pop at Walgreens, you don’t need to break into someone’s house to steal their ipod for a fix. And crack would be history.

I SAID don’t get me started. But since you have, check out how much we spend fighting the WOD… putting consenting adults in jail, building and staffing (and pensioning) said jails, lawyers, judges, courthouses, the DEA, entire bureaucracies created and staffed (and pensioned) to keep people over 21 from using and selling drugs to each other… Your tax dollar at work.

3. Have Bush’s resignation on my desk by 9am tomorrow morning. (Make sure you wait for the "Have" link to fully load… enjoy the tune!) (The two periods are links also.)

See? I don’t want much.

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