Yesterday, Mo developed red bumps all over his chest and face. By last night it had spread to his back, down his arms a little… It had started to look better yesterday afternoon, but as soon as doctor’s hours ended, the places on his face got bumpy. It itched a little but no fever, no nothing. Just red bumps and his lips look bee-stung. Not like Cher, like someone who knocked into a beehive.
I left a message on the doctor’s cell phone (turns out I should have called his house.) At 10:30 last night, we went to the pharmacy. The pharmacist gave him a shot of dipronova which is a steroid and Alegra 180. This morning it hasn’t spread more, but it doesn’t look much better. The doctor called early this morning. Mo had already had a dipronova shot, but the Alegra is good. If it’s not looking any better by lunchtime, I’m taking him back to the doctor.
In true paranoid fashion, I’m actually starting to think I’ve pissed off the universe somehow. WTF?
And my adrenals are working overtime. The fight or flight response is pumping full-time… I’m not sure how to turn it off. During hell week, waiting to hear about Ryan’s biopsy, I could force myself to relax with rationale: “It is what it is, just keep putting one foot in front of the other.”
But last night, just like the other night with Mo, it feels like full-on emergency because if things go downhilll with an allergic reaction, it happens in a hurry and you have to be ready to act. I have no idea how likely that would be… doesn’t seem too likely, but in the dark (in more ways than one), you just can’t discount it.
Back when I was going to see Shunyamurti, he said I was addicted to worry. I know it’s true, but this is overboard. I need to be able to turn this thing off. It’s been pumping for so long now, I can’t tell fact from fiction. Everything is terrifying.
Ryan is excellent, by the way. Breathing through his nose, his color looks good and even. A happy boy. Mo is not in any pain at least. Just muy incomodo [very uncomfortable]. Sheesh.
Everyday life is just so much fun.