I can’t talk. My family is borderline ecstatic. I have laryngitis so bad I can only whisper quietly, or, if I try to talk, I sound like Minnie Mouse. I have no lower register AT ALL. Zero, zip. It’s squeaky, quiet and annoying. Hal’s and my desks are 25′ apart. Every time I say something to him, he says, "Hmmm?" If I try to say it louder, it only gets higher and squeakier. Fortunately, it doesn’t hurt.

This has been going on since I whined about the weather. If I were one of those people who believed in signs, I’d probably say God was punishing me for complaining. Nah. Everyone knows the more you complain, the longer God lets you live. If you are a big-time complainer like me and know you are going to live forever, you do everything you can to avoid living, even temporarily, in hell. One of the reasons we are staying in Costa Rica.

The past few days, I’ve been too tired to do anything productive. Not sick and tired enough to go to bed, but too tired to focus on anything. I wander between computer games and TV. This is living in hell. No fever, an occasional sneeze, coughing at night, hacking noises, nothing to blame for all this else except a disgusting sinus drainage thing.

Paints a pretty picture, eh? Aren’t you glad you stopped by today? I love all this talk. If you are sick, please email me all your symptoms and I will look it up and tell you what you have. I seriously missed my calling as a doctor. Nothing grosses me out. I can watch any surgery show except liposuction. I just wish they’d label the body parts they are sorting through so I’d know what was going on. Blood, I recognize. Everything else looks the same.

Yesterday, I took a loratadina (loratadine in Spanish) pill which dried me up, made me feel lightheaded and generally crappy. Terrible night’s sleep… but today I feel like a million bucks. Still squeaky, but otherwise GREAT.

And the weather, since I whined, has been incredible. Sunny, clear, you can see all the mountains around here, cool breeze, lovely temperature – just perfect. This matches the perfect weather in Key West. If I were a person who believed in signs, I’d say this was clear evidence that whining works. Squeaky wheel and all that! Whatever brought it on, I’m thrilled. Hope your Sunday is as lovely, even if you live in snow. Pura vida.

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