That was my excuse last week… I’m not good with holidays. Too much pressure of how it’s supposed to be. Feeling guilty because I don’t do it right. I am SO programmed. And not just with holidays. I’m programmed with all the ways "things are supposed to be." With schooling and expectations for the boys. With how our marriage is supposed to proceed. I hate to bring up politics, but I have been programmed by my government to be afraid of everything and look elsewhere for instructions on what to do next. Come holiday time, I’m just terrified I won’t have the proper feelings of gratitude and respect. That my kids won’t have a good holiday. Like they are comparing this holiday to… what? I need to have my brain washed.
Anyway, that’s my excuse for last week. Now I’m just overwhelmed by everything there is to report. SO much has happened.
Last Monday, I saw my Guru at the Sat Yoga Institute. We had an hour session. He says it’s not therapy. Good, because I’m not looking for therapy. It sure feels like therapy, though. I asked what should we call it since we aren’t calling it therapy. The boys said we should call it Sally’s Happy Time.* My Guru thinks not. He says we should call it Transformational Sessions. Too many syllables. For now, I call it Seeing My Guru. I’ll write more on Robert sometime. I’m still enthralled with him and Radha, his wife who is beautiful and funny and an outrageous cook (see below). With Juan who works for them. With the whole SYI. Fascinating and feels right, whatever the hell It is.
Tuesday I saw my GYN ($50). We talked about the blood tests and she’s adjusting the meds. When I still had the whole cycle thing going on, I had a week where I was a normal human being. The rest of the time, I was either a raging bitch or crying in front of the TV, watching Hallmark commercials. I shoulda been on hormones my whole life. Alas, I’d been programmed to think riding an emotional roller coaster was normal for a girl.
Wednesday, the boys and I rode the bus to San José. I am suddenly determined to master the buses around here. They are cheap, they are plentiful, you can go anywhere on a bus. Since we only have one car, if you don’t know the buses, you are pretty much trapped at home. Yeeesss, you can walk. But we live on the top of a mountain. Going to town is a breeze…
Why did we go to San José? To take a class in Scientology. Going for the brain washing here… The literature always
makes such sense to me. Classes are so reasonable, why not? Ryan’s and mine are $43 each; Mo’s is $20. We decided to take one class each, see how we like it, if we think it’s valuable, if we want to take another one. Oh, I put this in green to indicate I’m whispering. Because I had to sign a piece of paper saying I wouldn’t talk about the little green thetans who teach all the classes.
Just kidding. They didn’t make me sign any paper.
When you home-school and home-work, you have to make an effort to get out of the house. And for the boys to meet other kids in Costa Rica, especially in the city, you have to really work at it. A few months ago, we met a lovely family who takes Scientology classes, but don’t really "do" the religion. They seem perfectly normal, they get a lot out of the classes… so, what the heck? We get out of the house, ride the bus, hang out with this other family, learn something completely different. All good.
Funny, we’ve been here for almost two years and just now learning the buses. It’s harder than you can imagine, for a myriad of reasons. The language is a huge barrier. I don’t know how people do it who don’t speak Spanish…
Thursday morning, I got the boys and Hal to go with me to the SYI for their Thanksgiving satsang. It was really lovely, a great way to start the day. There were about 30 people there, including my friend Candy. We all sat around the room and listened to Robert speak. I swear, when he talks you feel like you are in that movie What The Bleep. Then we went around the room and said why we are grateful. And then we ate the most fabulous brunch prepared by Rahda. All vegetarian and absolutely delicious. That’ll take the edge off melancholy… We went home and slept it off, then had steak for dinner. Balance out the whole day, you know?
Friday night, we were invited to a lunata. I can’t find lunata in any dictionary, but there are a bunch of people who get together once a month on the full moon at Barry’s house to play music, sing, eat and hang out. All kinds of people there including teenagers! Barry LOVES country music, as do I. We sang and sang and sang – it was SO MUCH FUN. Can’t wait to do that again.
And here we are: Sunday night, time for bed. Spent all afternoon singing songs, looking for songs for Barry to learn for next time, trying to learn his favorites. Looking forward to sleep, perchance a dream, to tomorrow. I’m so grateful: one big holiday down, one to go.
*In the movie Transformers which we watched last Sunday night, the mom walks into the son’s room and asks who is he talking to. The son says, "No one." The mom says, "Were you masturbating?" The son says, "Mom!" The mom says, "OK, we could just call it ‘Sam’s Happy Time’ – would that work?" The boys find this HYSTERICAL. If you have to watch a movie with your teenagers, this is actually not a bad choice. A few good laugh out loud moments.