Nothing makes me sick. Nothing grosses me out. I’m a mother. Not only that, I’m a doctor-wannabe. I watch surgery shows. Watching liposuction gets me a little jumpy, but otherwise I’m immune to gross stuff.

Or so I thought. Don’t worry: no photos. If you saw what I saw today, you would close this window and likely never visit again.

Boo had a bump on her neck. For about a week she’s had this bump. That kept getting bigger. Like from pimple to 25Ā¢ gumball size. The boys were a little panicked. I wasn’t because I thought I knew what it was and I did not want to think about it. If you know anything about Costa Rica and it’s intensely disgusting bugs, you know what I’m talkin’ about. Finally, today, I took her to see Dr. Gamboa right down the street.

He feels the bump. He grimaces and says, "Oh, yeah. Screw-worm." I want to be anywhere but there because I have seen the videos. I’m not even going to link to any photos because these things are so horrible, and unlike zombies, they actually exist.

Ok, ok: go here: Wikipedia. And here. I’m not sure which it was: bot fly or screw-worm. Dr. G said screw-worm and it sure looked screw-wormy (of course I looked). But bot flies get all the play. At the bottom of the Wiki pages are links to disgusting videos of people and their screw-worm and/or botfly moments. Prepare to be grossed out of your mind.

Anyway. Boo’s got this bug and Dr. G is going to get it out. He muzzles Boo who wouldn’t hurt a, ahem, fly… who is right up there with Winston as Most Pathetic Guard Dog Ever – they run for cover when new people happen around! Then Dr. G starts to squeeze… He gets out TWO and they are AS BIG AS MY ARM. I mean MY PINKIE. HALF my pinkie. At LEAST.

OK. That’s all I’ll say. It was horrible to think something was in my yard, close to my house, my babies, ME that could leave such a memento. I thought those bugs lived in the jungle. Or around livestock. I thought we were too high up the mountain, it was too cold here… there is very little livestock here. Just a few horses. Some oxen that wander about feeding… I guess that’s enough.

According to Dr. G, here’s how you get them: the mommy leaves the eggs on (actually on, not in) another insect, like a mosquito. The mosquito delivers the goods. People can get them, oh yeah. He said how people get them is you leave your clothes out to dry, the delivery insect drops eggs on your clothes… and you get them that way. He evens mimes wiping your neck with your freshly sun-dried towel and BAM. Delivery. I told him I have a dryer. He smiled and said, "Good." I feel safe for the moment.

Boo is good, cleansed. She even got a shot that will kill the f–kers if they land again. Dryer or no, I want one of those shots. I feel itchy.

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