Overnight I developed a fever blister on my lip the size of Mt. Chirripo. Probably from all that chocolate candy I ate yesterday! I haven’t had one of these babies in years, but whenever I do, they are doozies. As if they are making up for lost opportunity between eruptions. Remember in Alien when the guy had the baby alien on his face? That’s what I look like.
My husband, who gets a real kick out of himself, took to naming my adornments because they were so huge. He’d name them Chester. Or Lloyd. Then, of course, he’d start referring to me as "y’all." As in, "You and Lloyd, y’all need anything from downstairs?" The little boys would get a REAL kick out of this. They’d all just laugh and laugh. Don’t you love hearing your family enjoy those real belly laughs?
This morning, they were all standing around staring at me’all and decided Lloyd wasn’t a big enough name for this baby. They pondered for a moment, tossing out suggestions, finally deciding on Llewellyn.
"Maybe a walk would make you and Llewellyn feel better."
"You and Llewellyn look like maybe you could use an aspirin."
"Y’all look kinda pissed off."
Isn’t that nice they had such a good time? No wonder I’m depressed. My angel Leah, the only one who still cares about me, brought over some magic cream that has reduced Llewellyn to a Lloyd. I will be beautiful again in no time and those boys will be sorry they made fun of me. I know they will be sorry because I hid the rest of the candy, including the double stuffed Oreos. Llewellyn and me, we can be vengeful.
Metaphysically speaking the cold sore/fever blister is a result of the stress you’ve been feeling. Stressors you can’t control but are subjected to. Your angel can help with the symptoms but your SAT guru can get to the core of the problem. Sending you love and hope from the campo, don’t let fear get the best of you.
Gracias, Jen! Unfortunately, my guru’s institute raised its prices so you have to join the place for $100/month THEN do private sessions for $60 each. Spending all that money would have been too stressful…
What, no photos? A nice, gnarly close-up? I mean, we got to see your eye surgery! 🙂
As always, thanks for the humor (for yours, and for passing along the humor from the rest of the family–I loved this story!). You’re such a gifted writer. Which reminds me, how’s your book coming? I thought I read somewhere you were hoping to have it published by around now.
I can’t even look in the mirror… it’s all too horrible.
Thank you for the compliments and for reading! The Llewellyn remark is forgiven.
The book hangs over me… it’s coming, truly. Advice From A Broad: The first 100 things you need to know about coming to Costa Rica. But how can I go on Oprah with my little friend?
If you can find Lysol (brand) aerosol spray household disinfectant (original scent) you can use that to get rid of Llewellyn/LLoyd lickety-split. I have great success when I infrequently do get one of these babies. (Usually after inflicting various, marvelous, dietary insults upon myself or when in a stressful situation -or both!)
Spray some Lysol on your fingertip and dab it onto the offending bump (not your head, silly), and do that about once every hour or two during the day. It will kill the Herpes simplex that is the cause of this and your cold sore will quickly subside in a day or so. (It is stated plainly on the reverse of the Lysol can that it will kill the Herpes zoster and H. simplex virii.)
If you can’t find Lysol you can use the whey (liquid) from live-cultured plain yoghurt. Again dab a drop of the liquid (whey) onto the lesion, but in this case do it every 1/2 hour all day long. It’s the Pantothenic acid, vitamin B-5 (calcium pantotherate) that inactivates the herpes in this case.
Both of these procedures work well for me. Lysol works a lot faster, but the yoghurt whey is no slouch, just takes a bit longer, maybe two to three days.
If you are taking a B-vitamin supplement you could add a 100 mg tablet/capsule of Pantotnenic acid as a supplement on top of that whenever you start feeling stressed and thus sometimes avoid those lousy losers, Lloyd and Llewellyn altogether, before they show back up.
Just don’t mistake Yoghurt for Yoga, which is good for a lot of things other than herpes!
Hey, Paul, thank you! Very interesting, I am taking notes. And names…
How did they come up with that name? It’s the second time in two days that I have run into it, I don’t see it too often outside of my own family.
Shaun Llewellyn (from the “baby back door” fame)
PS hows Evelyn? tell her we said HI.
I guess they came up with Llewellyn because they were in the Lls for names…! Evelyn is SO great! She’s looking for a couple more days work, if you hear of anything. How’s that new baby??? Send me a pic – I’ll post it on the baby back door page! (Anonymously, of course.)
Oh, the cruelty. They must not get cold sores. Only people who get them understand the trauma. When I get them, they are on MY NOSE. I feel your pain.
Thank you, Heather, for your empathy!
That Hal is SO funny.
I’m sending him over now.