That’s a typical lunch in Kentucky. Ok, just kidding. It’s what I had for lunch one day. Little miss health food here. Gosh, it was good.

Ale 8 One is the local soft drink, created, made and bottled in Winchester, my hometown. In fact, I’m staying in the founder’s son’s first wife’s home, so there’s plenty of Ale 8 around! All sugar and caffeine, we were raised on it. Not by my parents – they forbade its consumption. As little kids, we only got Ale 8 on special occasions. But, as big kids, once we had 50¢ and could run down to Gaunce’s MiniMart on our own, that was the pop of choice. We all drank several a day in high school. How we have any teeth left is a mystery.

Yes, I’m in KY, here since Tuesday the 13th, going back to Costa Rica next Friday. You are probably wondering how someone so supposedly poor can afford to travel the world like I have been lately. Here’s how: my family paid for me to come here. They gave me a plane ticket, a car to drive and are buying my food. You know, because they like me so much. Ok, kidding again. It’s because my mother celebrated her 80th birthday last night and we figure she’ll only do it once.

Plus, she recently had a bout of unexplained dizzy coupled with too many drugs interacting improperly (what is it with doctors and handing out drugs willy nilly?), including her wimpy Tylenol experience. So I’m hanging with her while she gets stronger, helping her decide where to move in Lexington. Since she can’t drive, at least for now, she needs to be closer to the brood, who all live in Lexington. Plus, I’m in charge of finding a new home for her dog. Which, miraculously, I did. Go, me.

As it happens, there are tons of affordable options for elderly people. Actually, there are tons of cheap options as soon as you hit 62. At least ’til I’m 62, by which time I fully expect the federal government to be flat broke. As a libertarian, I abhor the idea of the federales taking anyone’s tax money by force and giving it to someone else. As a daughter, I’m positively gleeful at the spacious, some brand-new, immaculate HUD-subsidized apartments available for my mom here.

For the record, I want her to live with us, or us with her. But she refuses: “I don’t want to be a burden.” I keep telling her it’s just about the money (she’s finally richer than me), but she rolls her eyes. We are having a little tug of war about this now. Stand back. It can get kinda messy.

In other news, I’m down to about 25% of my original mane. Hal is going to wig out when he sees me. (Get it? “WIG” out?) But I am über encouraged by discovery of the Wilson Temperature Syndrome and hair loss. Does that sound like me or what? I rushed out to buy a digital thermometer and took my temp: 96.7!!! Seems über low, eh? I don’t know what my “normal” temp is. Who knew your core temperature was about anything but fever? But, oddly, it makes perfect sense. I’m thrilled. Still reading and researching, but über encouraged. Ecstatically encouraged.

I haven’t been able to blog lately because my internet access has been intermittent at best. The house where I’m staying has wifi, as of today, so we can all be online at the same time. Good thing, because there’s plenty to report and tons of pictures to share. Of me, naturally.

I miss my boys like crazy, all three of them. Not missing Costa Rica at this exact moment because my old Kentucky home is as lush and green as mi nuevo pais. I’m getting to enjoy the best of two continents right now. How lucky can you get?