Last night at 11pm, I left all three boys at Juan SantamarÃa airport. All getting on the same airplane. If you are a neurotic, that makes for an anxious day fighting off dread premonitions. Not that I’m a neurotic. I’m just saying if YOU are, I’ve heard about people like you. How you obsessively check the airline flight status and if you get an internet error saying something like, "No more information available about this flight," you might reel into a panic. Because, you know, your entire life is on one airplane being held up over the deep, wide ocean by… what, exactly? AIR??? Right. Like air could keep up an airBUS. That is the lamest thing I ever heard. I’m just saying I feel for you neurotics.
Fortunately for me, the boys were on the red-eye. Their plane didn’t even leave the ground till 1am; I’m usually deep into REM by that time. I fell asleep about three minutes after their plane took off and woke this morning an hour after it landed. No chance to to exercise OCD behaviors.
And please don’t tell me "they are safer flying than driving." They happen to be driving the world’s most dangerous highway right this minute: US1, FLL to EYW. And that after a night of very little sleep. Good thing Hal has Mo to keep him awake. About six months after Mo started talking, we got him one of those Help I’m Talking And I Can’t Shut Up t-shirts. Nothing has changed in that arena, except now his voice carries across a 3500sf house even when he’s whispering.
They’ll spend a day in EYW picking up camping gear, then drive for almost three days to a week-long rifle marksmanship course. (Turn down your volume if you click the link… some nice Civil War drums in the background.) According to the course manual, "if you go to a boot camp and don’t have one of the best times of your life, something is wrong with you and you need professional help." Who could resist that? (Uh, me.)
Joining them at boot camp are future Costa Rica expats Robert, the dad, old like us Hal, and Jacob, the son, teen like the boys. Randi, the mom, smart like me, is home planning a raucous week with the wild and crazy Willow, no doubt.
Randi did pose for us with the rifle Robert and Hal bought in preparation. (Believe it or not, there weren’t enough rifles to go around! Don’t tell the NRA, they’ll throw us out.) The bayonet is a nice touch, eh? My guys spent more money on ammunition for this week than on the whole rest of the trip combined. But whatever floats their boat.
Me? I’m here with my mom, the TV remote, three dogs who adore me and who (whom?) I can have in the house all day everyday if I want (this makes Hal crazy). And a hankering for some fun. As long as I’m home before 6pm which leaves just enough time for dinner and a TV show before bed, I’m lookin’ to get pretty crazy. Oh. And I have a pistol. With real bullets, so don’t be sneaking up on me.
Here’s the best part about being without the boys. Right off the bat, the maid comes today so the house will be CLEAN for more than 15 minutes. And – this is so thrilling, I can hardly speak – when I put something down and go back for it in an hour, two hours, an entire day later, it will still be there.
Bask in that for a moment.
If I bought juice or ice cream or cookies today (which I won’t because I’m still on this diet which is going beautifully), there would still be some tomorrow. There won’t be any dirty clothes around the hamper. Just in the hamper. Living with teenage boys is like living with a gang of Pigpens. There’s a world of crap everywhere: wadded up tissues, wadded up unmatched socks under the furniture, ipods, cords, cables, dirty plates, glasses on every surface with melted something in them, open jars of peanut butter in their rooms, books lying around, keyboards covered in crumbs and something sticky. And sounds: TV, Everlast, Santana (yeah, they discovered Santana…), Eminem. Bickering, then raucous laughter, then Ryan yelling, "Stop! STOP!!! MAAAAAHHHHMMMMMMM, Mo’s (insert annoying behavior here) ."
Ok. I have to stop. I’m starting to miss them.
Sounds like my house right now, 4 dogs inside plus me, wife on business trip, etc
I am going to get a visit from the electric company next month for sure, they visit you when the bill goes up too much or down too much (up too much, you could have a weed plantation indoors ……an American did this a year or two ago, he used like 1k USD in electricity to give the plants light…..and then he bypassed the meter and of course the power company got very very curious)
In my case…..I shutdown the water heater tank (except for 30 mins before I take a shower) , totally turn off the breakers for the stove/dryer/AC ) , disconnect the water cooler……and unplug even more things…….I am sure I am using 10% of the usual amount of electricity ROFL
where is that picture with the winding roads? Looks like an interesting place to visit.
Thanks.
Mi forcita carina,
We miss you already. Without direct orders we can hardly think of what to do. Morgan has all the ammo packed neatly into two 100 pound suitcases. Going to Naples today to pick up the arsenal.
Te amamos,
Los Chicos
Hi Wolfie, there goes my last big idea for extra income…
The road is the old yungus road. There are some great pictures online. Here’s a bbc article about it:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/6136268.stm. And you can search “world’s most dangerous roads”… there are some others that will take your breath away. literally.
Awww.
Sally-tell Hal to stop by Grand Vin on Friday after 5pm. We would love to see him!
he’s already loaded for bear and headed for rifle camp. next time you see him, be really really nice…
Revolutionary War drums. I remember them well. Hal remembers the drums from the War for Southern Independence.
you old farts are going to have fun this weekend!
Hey, it’s just me & the cat here for a few days, too. You are right–time to enjoy my girlfriends’ company! Charles is out at Neah Bay fishing, the twins are down in CA, skateboarding & being goofy, carefree teenagers. It is so nice to clean up the kitchen & have it stay that way for more than 2 nanoseconds! I’ll bet your guys are celebrating yesterday’s Supreme Court decision- probably by firing guns into the air, eh? Well, at least when they get home with their newly honed skills, you will be able to count on them to put meat on the table, right? Venison, moose, bear, coati mundi, squirrel monkey, guinea pig, whatever! If they can see it at 500 feet, get the stew pot goin’, Mama! (haha)
It is so quiet around here, you can hear a pin drop. I LOVE IT. I don’t miss them at all so far!!! I’m amazed… I don’t want to call them, talk to them, don’t yearn to hear their little voices. Nada. I got waxed, had a haircut, manicured, pedicured, a home facial, a massage. THIS is living…
Oh: you never shoot a gun into the air, I found out. Because when the bullet comes down, it comes down as hard as it went up and people do die that way. Probably some drive by shootings are really bullets people fired in the air….
MONKEY? We don’t eat monkey. they are too cute.